"Wait! I was just getting started Papi!"

My best friend Estrella and I were having a ball in a Palo Alto parking lot when my dad screamed that it was time to go home. My sister was in need of a computer part that could only be bought in Silicon Valley. This was way before the days of online shopping and instant shipping gratification. I convinced my dad that the ride to Palo Alto warranted bringing a friend along for the ride.

I knew that we would be bored so I brought my coveted bright yellow Sony portable tape player. We were preteens at the time and we thought it was so cool. It was the 80's and loud colors were all the rage. We arrived in Palo Alto and Estrella and I made a beeline for the parking lot. Since there was no one in sight we decided to have a little fun. I perched the yellow boom box on my right shoulder and hit play. "Need you tonight" by INXS blared from my shoulders and Estrella and I strutted all over the parking lot with not a care in the world. We sang and danced like we were the only two people in the world.

Just as we were really getting into it my dad was yelling at us to get in the car and stop being so silly. Estrella and I burst into a fit of giggles and got in the car. All the way home we grinned from ear to ear laughing about our parking lot adventure.

Even though it has been more than 20 years, I still smile when I think of this happy memory!

- This is a short story that I submitted to my weekly writing group.  It is one of my favorites.  I loved it so much that I just had to share here too!

My Overwhelming Fear of Writing

Writing scares me.  It feels so permanent and it just plain scares the living heck out of me.  Years ago when I attended City College, my first year English teacher told me that I was a terrible writer.  From that point on I was afraid of writing.  I never felt that it was good enough.  Before that I had no problem expressing myself.  I knew I wasn't the best, but I felt decent.  Once the fear kicked in I started to fear all things associated with writing, especially grammar.  This year I am working hard to tackle my fear.  Even though my grammar is not great, I am putting myself out there and starting to write more.  I am going to stop being afraid of being judged and even better I am going to have more compassion for myself..my worst critic! I even started being a part of a writing club sharing my writing with complete strangers! Gasp! All of this writing is inspiring me to do more writing.  I have also decided to make the leap and go back to grad school to pursue my doctorate in Public Health.  I figured that this would be a good time to get my writing fears dealt with.  Just taking the time to write this is a big step in the right direction.  I hope that I continue on this journey of feeling uncomfortable and pushing my own boundaries.  Thank you for being a part of my writing journey!

Procrastinating on getting my 27 things a day together

I have been really obsessed with reading lately.  So much that it has been distracting me from getting together my 27 things a day.  Because of my procrastination I had to get 81 things together tonight. I almost didn't even want to get them together tonight but the thought of compiling 108 things was a little too overwhelming even for me.  So I started with a few items that needed to make it into the recycling bin and then I realized I could get some bang for my buck by going through the cutlery drawer and finally get rid of those cheap lime green plastic picnic ware that I bought years ago.  Then I thought what the heck...let me tackle that electronic cord drawer that I have been avoiding for months.  Before I knew it my 81 item allotment was complete.  The truth is that the game of getting rid of 27 things a day really is an incentive to get rid of stuff that I would normally hold onto longer without good reason.  My only worry is that in a month or two I might be looking for something that I need and not realized that it became a victim of my daily purge.  That is probably my fear talking because I know without a doubt that I will not miss those lime green picnic plastic ware!

Releasing 27 items a day for 27 days

Okay, so it has been a while since my last post!  I am happy to report that I have been continuing to work on being grateful for all my life has to offer even including the always not so great parts.  It is all a part of the journey.  The good and the bad.  I am coming to the basic realization that this is my life right now and it is the only one I have so I better appreciate it.  This who I am and if I don't learn how to truly accept myself then how can I ever expect to be happy.  It is always not nice to admit that I have a mean streak and even that needs to be embraced.  Everything about us is still us and the more we ignore the parts of us that we don't like the more they tend to rear their ugly head.

Since my last post my partner with the dog and I broke up.  I finally finished that thesis and my relationship with my 16 year old son continues to get better.  Part of accepting the life I have now includes accepting what my living situation is and making it a sanctuary.  On the first of June 2012 I decided to follow in the steps of a co-worker to release 27 items a day for 27 days with a one day break every 9th day.  So far so good.  Ask me again in 27 days!

The first day was a Friday and I spent a good chunk of time going through my closet and getting rid of items I no longer want or need.  27 items of clothing were not too hard to get rid of since I was still operating on a winter closet.  I found so many items that I had 27 extra for that Saturday and a few more items for Sunday.  On Sunday it started to get a little harder because I was not in the mood to do some serious organizing and purging.  I quickly went through the kitchen as I was cooking up dinner and found the rest of the items I needed for that day's 27.  Today is Monday and I decided to tackle my most difficult possession to part with...my books.

It is always easy at first.  The first 10 items are no problem but it gets harder and harder. I know in my heart that I will probably never read any of these books again but they hold such good memories that they are hard to part with.  I look over to all of my journals which I have been meaning to shred for some time but I realize I am not ready for that just yet.  I finally gather 27 items when I decide to go through a pile of papers and I realize that recycling papers can also be a part of my collection.  That alone should help me keep up with the 27 items a day for the next six months.  I wonder what I else I will learn to release as I give up these physical items.  I have to admit it feels good to release the things that no longer define me.  I look forward to more clarity as this process continues...