Learning to accept what is

I am a master of procrastination.  I know that I must finish a project for work tonight and instead I'd rather update my blog.  I suppose I need to strike while the iron is hot!  My son and I have been house sitting and it has been absolutely glorious.  The house has incredible energy and I am inspired to go back home and create a sanctuary that envelopes me with love.  I realize that although I seem to think that I am positive person, I can often have very negative subconscious self talk that make me question my self worth.  I was confronted by a very sad week that sort of spiraled with negative thoughts.  All of a sudden I was reminded that I am the queen of overcoming all obstacles that come my way.  I have always been up for the challenge and succeeded at whatever I put my mind to.  Sometimes it is easy to forget this when we are down on ourselves.  We are constantly hearing that we need to practice the art of self love yet there is no specific road map.  We often confuse self care like getting a massage and pedicure as self love and they are not exactly the same thing.  I think that a huge of part of self love is learning to forgive ourselves and forgive others.  I am still a work in progress when it comes to forgiveness.  I sure do know how to hold a grudge!  Little by little I learning to build on the tools I lacked learning as a child.  I am looking forward to building my tool kit!

New year, new me!

At the end of 2012, I read a horoscope for the new year that literally blew my mind.  It said that 2013 would be a year of great change and of facing my fears.  I thought I had done pretty good in 2012 by learning how to finally ride a bike.  The horoscope reminded me that there were still a few more things to conquer in 2013.  First on the list and a topic that I have written about before, my fear of writing.  Early this week I met with sexy grammarian,  Kristy Lin Billuni, a writing coach/writing psychotherapist extraordinaire based in lovely San Francisco.  In our hour long session, which flew by entirely too quickly, she gave me some amazing tips on how to overcome my fear and to get writing again.  My first and most important homework assignment requires me to write everyday without the fear of being criticized or edited.  This assignment is what has led me back to my trusty underutilized blog. 

Kristy suggested that I allow the creative part of myself the freedom to write without being judged and then provide the critical part of myself the time it needs to present my work to the world.  So far it has been working out well.  I find that I have less fear when I know that I am allowed to be free and not care about how perfect it is.  My daily writing was tough at first because I was not sure what to even write about.  Then I realized that the subject was not the important part of the exercise.  I am excited to see where this new practice will take me!